Today, I moved out of our house—and out of the relationship my husband and I have had for 40 years. We have shared our lives under one roof until now. The burning question that lingers in my mind is: why? Why am I willingly subjecting myself to the uncertainties of the unknown? Why am I leaving behind the home we painstakingly built over the course of our lives? What has driven me to choose this path at this particular moment? The answer, in all honesty, is simple yet profound—I need to. I feel it deep within my bones, I express it with every breath I take, and it consumes my every thought. I yearn to find inner peace, and the only way I can envision achieving that is by leaving our house.

If I'm being completely honest, the house has become nothing more than a hollow shell. It is supposed to be a sanctuary where happiness resides, but instead, it feels hollow and broken.

Depression has become a familiar companion within our family nucleus. Like many others, we have all experienced its grasp to varying degrees at certain points in our lives. Some of us, like my daughter Miriah and husband Dave, have been profoundly affected by it. Both have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder at different times.

Dave sought treatment several years ago, but sadly, the prescribed medication had a devastating impact on him, reducing him to a mere semblance of his former self. He became consumed by thoughts of suicide and could barely function. Witnessing his suffering was heart-wrenching for me and for everyone around him. Over a span of six months, his psychiatrist experimented with five different medications, but none provided the relief he desperately sought. Eventually, he made the agonizing decision to stop taking the medications, as the side effects became unbearable.

Once the medications were out of his system, he gradually regained his zest for life and started living again. However, the toll it took on him, as well as on our entire family, cannot be underestimated. We managed to find our way back to each other and rebuild our family unit. While my husband was placed on a single antidepressant that offered some respite, he continues to experience episodes of profound, dark depression to this day.