Dave is not a monster, quite the opposite. He is a compassionate, caring, and gentle man who occasionally struggles to manage his emotions. Like most individuals, he has good days and bad days. Throughout our marriage, he has been a loving and supportive husband and father. We have shared a deep friendship, and even now, he respects my need for space and supports my decision to leave him, despite the immense pain it causes him. He has even assisted me in the moving process. Dave comprehends, to the best of his ability, the reasons behind my choice, and we maintain contact through phone calls and messages, occasionally attending family gatherings together. I cannot envision a future without Dave in it; however, I am uncertain about the specifics. I wish I had clarity on what lies ahead, as it would bring simplicity and comfort to our situation.

Dave's struggle to cope is intensified by his battle with depression and the physical pain he endures. He has received a diagnosis of bipolar disorder on two separate occasions. As he has grown older, his physical pain has worsened. The arthritis in his previously injured knee causes him significant discomfort, and he finds little relief from over-the-counter pain medication. Consequently, in addition to grappling with the challenges of a bipolar personality characterized by deep depressive episodes, he must endure near-constant pain, which likely contributes to his increasing irritability over time.

However, it is important to acknowledge that my decision to leave Dave is not solely a reflection of him. It is primarily rooted in my own failure to establish healthy boundaries. I must take equal responsibility for finding myself in a state of despair concerning our relationship. For numerous years, I chose to prioritize agreeability and disregarded the underlying issues, pretending that everything was fine. Yet, in truth, it feels as if I have been riding a perpetual rollercoaster for a considerable length of time. The constant ups, downs, and twists have left me utterly drained, necessitating a reevaluation of my own identity and circumstances